abadon all hope when enter here

friendship chaos..

2009-11-10T05:55:00.000-08:00

well it been years since i wanna update my blog again....
now is the years of 2009 10 november.....chaos happen in my life again....well my bestfriend..... i cant reveal her real name but i put initial for her...(donut)....
this is what i really wanna tell donut.....
the first time i arrived in this college i had no one to trust to....i still remember u r the first person to gave me a helping hand ...from that day onwards ,secretly i told myself i want to know you more and be your best friend....
later everybody start to mix around....i never got the chance to knew you more than the superficial facts of you.....
until a lot of things start to happen....a lot of drama which you and me are really tired off once.....

i get the chance to know you more...i m so happy about or i should say excited all about it....
the feeling was like Finally i found somebody i can put my trust on too....finally i had a friend!!!yeah a men halleluyah~the period we spent together really precious to me....and i promise i ll never forget it.....

a poem for you~

i was lost in a chaos full of hatred lonely world,
you appear to me like a little glowing girl,
with you hand ,with your smile
which brighten up my world......

we been together like there is no forever,
i miss your stories, i miss the real you.....

you are just like my sister that i ever have,
that is why i care about you...
it is not a matter for you to change,

too much of noise polluting you...
too much thoughts disturbing you,
i hope i can be the vaccum to suck out all the noise,
to give you peace,
i hope i can be the transmitter to inhibits those black thoughts in you...

i try to cry...
in an attitude style...
i shown you my heart ,
but you never care,
my heart was shattered to pieces....

but i never wanna give up...i wont give up!!!
because you are my sister....
i never tell you in the front because i m scared that
u will be more afraid of me.....

now......
what i really pin up my hope is...
i hope that you will return to me again...
as my sister...

dear m.s......
when you are ready to come back to me as a sister...
i will shouted....OKAERI....one-chan

but currently i will say kiotsukete ...simpai janaiyo~
p.s: if one faithful day god hve let you see this message and you really wanna come back....
okaerinasai...one-chan

2009

2009-03-20T04:45:00.000-07:00

the world greatest loneness does not belongto darkness but it's lonely himself who are the loneliest...

oppurtunity...

2008-09-17T08:09:00.001-07:00

there is no sometimes but the only time lies ahead ,
there is no why it happen only when it happen ,
there is no good luck or bad luck only chances which not be taken ,
if you want it so much ????
Why, let it go away???

life is the stage ,
living are the presenter ,
feelings is the atmosphere ,
and desire are the ending...

if you want to been take notice,
then ,
post up your smile ,
label your expression ,
highlight your tears ,
jote down your words ..

just be yourself then you will be notice..

oppurtunity...

2008-09-17T08:09:00.000-07:00

sickening lives

2008-01-26T08:55:00.000-08:00

i m so stress,,,really stress....i didnt know why but i m just so damn stress...i couldnt concentrate...i just want to cry ...cry so much....cry until i die.....i feel so empty n i live in a prison...no one to trust and i m really really lonely....i miss my past live ...i really do...i m so frustrated in everything....i am so babarianic...i dun wish to talk......sickening live...it is so meaningless...sickening sickening...really sickening...........

2008-01-21T17:42:00.000-08:00

so long...until now its been a wonderful and hard experience for me...woooh goodbye 2007...and welcome 2008...i get my pip..i been a senior to no one.....now they acknowledge us as green badge..hahaz...life at hostel still the same...becomin more like a prison...and recently i trim my hair n it sucked by the way....love live...someone stole my cupid away lol....i still homesick after 7 months....if the lifes at hospital are way too far great....i love my patient and doc...really..hahaz....dunno wat to jote ..so gud luck to me and till then...

2007-11-01T05:40:00.000-07:00

i have been posted to the hospital..today are the fourth days i was so stress... the feeling are so sad...i could not concentrate i am very sad...but i will not give up...i will keep on because this is a very hard even myself are not sure whether i can cope this....i turn not to be myself anymore...i could not even can control my mind and feelings....there are so many choices that i can made...some can makes me turn away from the bright side some even could make better myself...i really do not know..the only feeling i wish to jote down is the people here are very weird..some are good,selfish,stubborn ,and ego....very ego even teacher are like that,,i could not imagine that my teacher are so selfish..for their own self they could malign us like that...i really scared.......this is what had happen.......dat very unfortunate day happen...after our hard long work =presentation ...which had brought us together.....my friends...our hardwork had been destroy by one of my tutor...she scold us for making her skill lab dirty(that is where we put up our presentation)she describe it like a pigsty...i am very sad when i get the news =confused.. i remember that she told us we can put there for a week oatut now what happen our work had been destroy but she turn against us by saying she did not said that and to protect her self from the punishment,,,,we are there to be her spageg spatega ahahahhhahrrghhhhhhh i am just very angry....but this is just what i have to say.....tommorow will be a better day

2007-10-22T08:18:00.000-07:00

today i have a story...
can i tell to my children ,
tommorow i created memories ,
could i stay alive and shared it....

today i wen to college as usual...nothing much happen again....i pretended nothing happen..i m running away from the reality every single day here...no matter how much i ran away is still noe that i m in the realliti..i live in it..i hope for a change but that is not action ..people said i have changed...here my replied i have changed,,because i grew up ...
.........i hope that i never ever grew up...............
despite my physical inner me i really hope i never grew up.children are so innocent they never think bad ,evil,,,,they are always filled with hope and love...Adultry brings harm to other.the more knowledge we get they less we adapt or intepret it into our lives..we never makes use of the knowledge wisely..i have sin...i will never not sin in a day,....

.............human sin.............

knowledge is sin...god have told adam n eve not to eat that apple ..at the knowledge tree....yeah after our dearest ancestor ate it . we gain knowledge but at the same time it is suck . we sin .KNOWLEDGE =SIN...as one day we gain knowledge we sin...god forgave us??yes he did...so his benevolent heart are so huge that can make him so knd to forgave us human...we named ourself human but are we humane enough???WE gain knowledge but we took it granted......

................we learnt how to die..the only way to learn how to live................

we all know that we might die someday...but we dont believe in it..this is what i read through a very interesting books entittled tuesdays with morries.....yea it is true we never learnt to be good.After we die..we should die once.so everybody get theirs lesson n be good..but is it possible...no one human theirs is only one chance to live in this world ...so why dont you try to a good person today?

..................family..............

i am not a very family person...and i had a very complicated lifestyle....i never get to enjoy what so called family love..so since a small child i have always live in doubt...why my moms treat me like that??why my dad like that.....i can say that after my dad left me...my life turn worst....nothing is good for me everything seems so hard to handle ...i always burst up in tears alone...never let others to see.because i hate it...i hate to show my weakneses to others ..this is just because i dont trust anyone but myself...selfish huh???yes i am selfish....until now i never had a wonderful family....but i had some benefactor in my life...and i cherish them...why dont you get a flower for your mom today...hug her and tells her that you loved her for me??i never get to because i cant forgive her.......why dont you make a breakfast for your little brother or sister today and tell them u are very happy to have them in your live..they coloured your lives??i never get to do that because i never had a sister not yet even brothers.....please do it for me....why dont you read out the newspaper for your daddy today ...tell him the news happen in the world..do it for me because i lost my dad forever....physically....not mentally.....

...........friends...........
the most precious things in my life.....some walk away from me.....some were discarded by me....some stayed by my side until now.....some just knew me......some thinks that i am weird.....some hate me but loved me once.....some helped me...some teached me the rational of lives.....some are very patient......one word for you guyz thank you....i really loved you guyz...i dont wish to lose you guyz really ...there are tears for the who walk away from me.....there are laughter spent during the times....memories shall always stayed with me......eternally....

..........my love........
i never had chance to be in love...but i fall in love many times....and crushed my hearts every single times...i told or maybe confessed to some of them and get rejected by them....some were hidden in my hearts and never been told out....but no matter what i wish to say thank you that you taught me to be a women....in my live.....u guyz let me experience rapid heartbeat....shyness...and everything...
thank you......

...........god............
i love you god!but i hate you at the same time....you always test me...and let me test the taste of every single hard situation but u never leave me alone..u always by my side ...since a child...i know you wanted to train me to be stronger each time and each test are harder and harder each time...i can guarentee i could pass all of them but i can promise i would stayed alive to cface all the fears in my life

..............to judy............
i love you because i knew what u r thinking right now!!!!

think back and try to say good morning to each and every one you met tommorow???

2007-10-21T10:02:00.000-07:00

another days pass by,today i did not wake very early so i did not go back to my hometown...i stayed at hostel the whole day...doin nothin..so i try to think something to do ..i clean up my hostel..of course all alone...n i watch the Heroes season 1 part 2...i really love this movie ...it is a double thumbs up one..i can assure that....i think i its connected to human nowdays,,,we should noe not just the power we are gettin and misused them ,,in this movies...every character has its own destiny to fulfilled and each of them are heroes in different way.....if u guys have a chance to watch it better...watch it!!it is a good 1...i promise....^^

have u ever thinks that am i selfish???am i greedy???am i that bad or maybe worst...today is a boring day so i use up my day thinking these question ,,,,i wish to do a project a studies on human and i m the first subject..i am goin to documentary each of my feelings and thinking ..and find out how heavy are my sin is....?i think this would be fun....make it a week then i can come out with a conclusion...or maybe new theries about humanbeing...feelings are important ...we need to talk so that we wont have anay communication breakdown,,,human need to talk...if u guyz have any problem talk to the problem itselfs,,,because the problem cant run or dissapears it will stays by our side until the knot are unknotted.....

2007-10-20T06:13:00.000-07:00

\the 4 hour boring english class today.i draw a conclusion for myself i am going to take a MUET exam next years...i am going to pass it...no matter wat...after the class i went straight away to jaya jusco in malacca ...quite small if we compare it with jb jaya jusco....after takin KFC...p/s tat is my 1st KFC after 3 years stayin in jb....so stella not my cousin...and my friend francine went for a movie...i went to see skinwalkers

it i s a nice movie lah...about blood n werewolf...^^

next i went to buy some grocery for next week so i wont be hungry all the time!!!hahaha

nothing much happen but i m going to get use to be alone now.....i go to watch movie alone...sleeping alone...eating sometimes with friend...crying alone...go to toilet alone...so all alone lah...now i m going to name myself the loner razor!!!hahaha

it is ok i get used to it ...do not pity me becouse this is the way that i will become more indepedent....REALLY!!!

next i would like to wish happy birthday to 2 beautiful gurl...may them be the fairest then all princess in pixar or disney hahahagod bless

to charlotte HAPPY BIRTHDAY

she is always so kind with everybody she meet^^a very nice young lady

next happy birthday to shi hui!!!

happy birthday!!!dun miss me n always be pretty a very nice sista hahaha

next cannot left out mr liew the CARTONIST....comic styler hahaha

2007-10-19T07:51:00.000-07:00

trust me my hair suck .....!!!but today many thing happen ...everything r goood thing lol...i nv fight or maybe cold war wif my hus mate already yea...thank god my prayer had finally been answered!!!this is how my hair look ....funny lol,,,,,

2007-10-18T07:17:00.000-07:00

haiz today i had some argument wif my hus mate i dunno how but they seem so deppressed...like i made them they said that i have change ...yes i have i do change...i do not want to be played by them i m not a clown...... y all of u luv to see me act stupid but u guyz cant accept that i m a very serious person in my life.....i m so bored to be a clown to all of you..y am i always the person to cheer others up while i have to cope all my feelings and wounds all alone in a dark corner???i am always the lonely one to cry in a corner ...!!who would hear me ??maybe someday i die of depression also no people wont notice me...!!all you guyz need is the laughter of mine...and u played me all day long...u did not treat me like your friend...u treatme like a toy!!!I M VERY SENSITIVE....i do not why i just can feel everybody feeling...it is seem that i could read their mind through their body language...whether they hate me...sincere or played me...!!!i want to tell all of you that i m not a toy ...i m a human being....god y u sent me here???i m so confused now..i could not think rationally ..i acted like mad people here...i m very stressed out...i do not why....all my rational and my prediction gone...they are really good in psycology war....i hate to wear that armour again but y u wish me to wear it once again???it is covered with blood they will get hurt if i use it....i m scared that i will go crazy here it is really a miserable place....raelly crazy and horrible place...i am scared that i will change and become too protective...my body seems to be selfish but my soul kept it away from the evil ...i could not stand any longer...my soul really strend out ...tired ....i need something but in do not know what it is??? who can help me to find the answer????

2007-10-17T07:18:00.000-07:00

17 october,

it is a tired day due to yesterday ...all senior 06 just came back from their holiday ...see holidays are so short..today we had a anatomy &physiology class aith my tutor ms bong..a very nice lady...today lesson are womens reproductive systems ...many fell asleep during that period ...me too ^^ haha....nothing much happen ...i tried to be as quiet as possible hahaha....u guyz will b in shock if u guyz were here....i never speak much though ........

i am still depressed.....stuck in here there is no happiness are found all i could see all says are pure hypocrites acting......so today i m going to stress out my inner feeling or else i be dead.....maybe i will explode like peter........

human are hypocrite....they act every single day in their live ...so this wat i call a drama life....even friend could not be trusted now..this is the battle field.....maybe now everybody hates me...because i am not myself....i acted all kind of character i learnt and interpret them now in my real lives...the friendly judy had gone live the dust....because she is so hurt and cant accepct the truth so she dicided to hide herself from reality but i noe someday she will be back someday...i lock her up and protect her from being hurt by others....i bcame her sheild and armour.....o i become her dearest beloved ...i promise to protect her till the end ....i love her....

dreams....

2007-09-23T01:30:00.000-07:00

small waves:1st floor of building

height: 15 floor of a building

that day i dream about tsunami attack somewhere.....it is really scary....i saw a huge tsunami that its height was like a 15 th floor building..... through the calm sea approaching a city....i was in a car...tsunami just fell like a splashing water to the city....a shopping centre located at the side of the beach was attack....water splash out from the ground floor of the shopping center........i survived later i saw small tsunami as their height are a floor of condominium...attacks a small town.....many die there 7280 people perish in this incidents....

i do not know what but it is really very scary...so please protect earth while we can....she is angry with us now,,,,,i wish this will not happen ......

2007-09-18T02:11:00.000-07:00

what to say...we r cousins.........some pic of my times spent at nursing college......

what to say....i m sad.....really sad but i do not know why....maybe god are testing me again ,,,,but this time i really cant figure it out why...i know i always have the instincts to guide people but now i really dont know how....i m confused again.....who can help me/

i really regret what i have done....

i just wish to say sorry my friend i mean no harm....really...so stop killing me with ur eyes.....

somes says that i m empty...it is true ...my soul r so hungry....trying to taste something different...if i do not say it all out i will burst....burst....i hate the feeling of being cope up...it is ok i said to myself 2 n 9 month more years to go......

arggghhhhhhhhhhghghhhhhgahgahgaghaghahgrrrgghhhagghahhatatgghhggghghhjb;gbjkn;ajknr;ionm;konm;knmknfadn;kjnf;kjnn;kjn;fdnk;jdn;kjndf;jkn;ojioienjlneonejn;kfjn;jdnkjnjkenonjknfdjnuijtekpuiheoijojekejpiijkjnlkuhnjkjhiuuunumhouhoiuhkfnmaiojakjdnkjfnuntrkhfohfjnfkn;ioekjnkjfndifnkjnaioufnjkenjhqoienffknilenf,fnklfjjnrkjrneiurekmrfniuntriotnrtk;idndirnkjfdhjkhaiurjknjkndjfhouh

i hate myself

chapter 7....hometown

2007-08-28T02:26:00.000-07:00

see i told u guys i m really fine!!!

not that emo la

this is where it all started with breast

judy+sherine my housemate

2 little cute girl..this is where i been living...through...ok a picture represent a thousand words ...enjoy

finally i m back to this city that i was born...the first steps i was being brought up here....i miss everything single thing in here even the oxygen here brought me to tears....
as usuall i would take a deep breath at here n let it all out ...i have limited timed here so i m going to spent it really really carefully....
arghhh...nvm all about that i m here for food...i m so hungry at malacca...i m starve physically n mentally....i need alot of glucose so that i could stand up bravely once again....*applause*....yeah thks u thks u ......i m really glad i m here....really luv u guys always

voice within

2007-08-10T23:21:00.000-07:00

so may thing happen here...2 month pass so fast ,,,jz like a blink of eye...
finally i understand what is the feeling of homesick...well maybe i m in the another way round=friendsick...this is the reason i dun wish to part with my friend...when we get through hardship together we built a special bonding that nobody can break through,,,,but now i have to start all over again...actually i m quite afraid of my new friends here ...most of them are too sensitive,,,,now i finally undrerstood why gary n panda told me to bcareful wen i m already at outside of the barrier....
everything is too late ..i have to start to built a sheild to protective myself from being hurt.....
here it is feels like i m swimming in a peaceful lake that hav a lots of alligator waiting to swallow me dwn....=tatz my feeling right now.....
smth sad happen....my badge been labeled as the worst,rude,naive ,hiperactive group ever.....so wat can i do....tat hyperactive is not me,,,,,,,others...finally i learnt someting new....sometimes we really have to wears a mask...in case some one blown out their true colours....u might been blown too pieces too!!!gagaga so beware

i really dun wish bad thing to be happen to me..but i noe i m not a trouble seeker....but the trouble loves me a lot la.........tell u guys wen i meet u ....

lastly i learnt many steps to b a gud nurse it is really hard but i wont give up so easily...if i give up now wht is the use i been fight for all these yers will hav gone wasted!!!!
nxt smth eerie happen in our hus,,,,,,

midnigt they is someone walking at our hus living room...too bad i nv heard them coz i been sleeping like a pig....*goosebumps*

till here then ...2 years and 10 month to go.....^^

get used to it afterall....

2007-08-05T03:11:00.000-07:00

One month pass so fast...cant bliv it....
i can adapt this kampung college now....their system...rule n others....
i gt my pic dy i luv it so much ...thks lawrence,......
i luv my occupation n my course....
i wish to b a good nurse in future .....
realli ....i cant promise but i hope i can do it....
really...anyway i m cumin bck this august!!!!!
(27/8----2/9)
wait 4 me guyz...thks 4 da view ya ^^n lets rock this holidays!!!

2007-07-28T20:49:00.001-07:00

now i get my uniform....
i look so cute,,,
hahaha
sir bala +one of my tutor say we muz b responsible with our uniform ...dun worry i will upload them someday n let u guy feel my charm wahahahaha...nt long after diz i will buy a laptop then i can on9 every single day wakakakak

chap:7 a new beginning

2007-07-14T22:15:00.000-07:00

i step into the old historical town...malacca...everwhere r full with the historical air....
leaving my hometown to a new enviroment place makes me sad and excited.....i been here almost 3 weeks....the conclusion is i m damn bored here luckily i have my house mates they r cool gals....namelist;
zubaidah roomate
ain
zita
punitha
me
sherine
auni and
jac

every single day we entertain ourself with laughter of course i m in the process in becoming their tv//////
sch rule= sucks
subject cool
tutor half suck half gud!!!!

lastly i miss u guys in jb n my ec friends........
i miss choc fantac mei qi ,a mei, mrs lee.....
ahahaha i miss everybody lah in the conclusion......

i m bck to emo stated again

chapter 5 : a lie of happiness

2007-06-30T17:02:00.000-07:00

today is thursday ,as usual i m walking through that old historical corridor of my sch...as i step into 6 rendah dinamik .i saw a beautiful poem which is in chinese ..each word were in an a4 paper size...the shape of the poem are special...there were all in i love u shape...suprisingly i saw my own chinese name there....! i thought that is a little gift from my classmates..so i do not care much about that ...so i try to pretend nth happen and went to toilet...as i steps out of the class....a gang of man were rushing toward me with zack as the head...i thought they wanna bash me up....but everything seems different from what i think....after the march of man...comes a man with a small bouquet of sunflower...standing infront of me smilling sweetly.....hences he start his beautiful poem and some strange words which i cant understand....in another way he is trying to confess to me...oh my god...what is this???? my mind was in a blank that time..i accept the flower though...and i ask his name...his name is jackson....what a courageous man...!!! actually i m very scared+anxious+dunnowhattodo....hahaha after that confession i went back to my class like a unormal freako girl who just got a shock....sweetly i stare at the flower...and smile....not long after that,praveen my classmates ask me out to the corridor...so i follow...this is what i really hate it....he confess to me telling me not to go....i was shock again...hello my friends luckily my heart is made os superduper healthy cells ...so i can take it ok...i got into the dunnowhattodo state again....Prevenn u are really good actor la...fancy confess to me with tearful eye...haha
next i went for a short break...when i got back i found out that the class is full with a garlic and onion smell...as i nearer my seat ...the smell get stronger....i am wondering where that smell come from...my bag is close..that is my first suspicion...i think my bag do have something that had made my class so smelly...hah..i knew it...someone put a lot of stink garlic into my bag...i am suprise yet happy because this is the 1st time i got pranks from a girl that hate me i think.......and my table lie a letter of insulting .....it is writtten in red extract yean ruey name...my sista in school..he is a male species...oh the girl are jealouse that yean ruey are very close to me...i wonder what is this girl thinking....but seriously i do not hate her...because she is still being bind with hatred for a secong...later i clean my bag..and tell my friend...they look so calm...asking me what happen?? because of that earlier shock so i do not realise that it is a pranks...before going home rohinni the pengawas came to my class finding me...i knew it she comes for my handphone so i quickly passed it to angelline too bad she didnt hold it properly my handphone falls ..and of course she took it n tells me that i need to see kysa at the upper 6 form after the bell rangs...everybody went back and i went to find stella pig...so as i see her i told her thst my hp was being taken luckily i got bck my sim card haha...next she told me she wanted to make a phone call...hence without any hesitation i went with her......before she told me to take my hp from gary....that kysa wont give me back dy,,,i really trust her u noe!!!!later we off to the phone boot...on the way saw si long and hui xiong...we chatted a bit and they join us...as we arrived at the public phone boot..dat stell told me didnt want to make a call anymore bcus she could make the call from her phone..i really didnt suspect anything....when we step back to that upper 6 form block ...out of sudden dat huixiong keep pushing me out to the corridor...of coz i do not want ..i just simply wondering this guy has mental illness...sudden a familiar voice is heard ...hey judy i found that girl who took your phone....so i replied ya o...huixiong say walk outside to the upper land and talk...that is the ec rule so i follow without any hesitation...as i arrived all i can feel is wetness all over me....so cold...i m transparent now...if describe in matrix form i can still remember chiew hui face expression seems so fancy throwing water bag on me ...funny...all my god !!!!1and a head prfect teacher were walking side by side with gary...of course she do react but clever gary distract with his own technique...haha..after that i went upstairs funnyily...i saw kathy dang n others with a bowl of bakchang and a muffin...theres a candle on it oo....wah of coz i blow the candle off and try the black muffin...look so delicious taste like chilli padi+++soya sause ...funny i ate them all ...so happy while waiting dunnowho....we chatted a bit the earlier incident in one of the class...later when gary arrived we went for a lunch at dong's kitchen....

after we order some food....i saw something strange on my table...a black box...include a mp4..oh my god they say it is for me!!!i m very touch...and they told everything is a fake !!!at least preveen is real i think..hahaah i sing for them in ths shop..everyone stare at me...haha i do not care....much....after that me n stella pig went to kerrys ..and i get into choc fanta cy to chatted a bit...suddenly i saw yean ruey....i told him everything is a fake n he told he already know it...i ask him is preveen a fake too??he replied YES....arggghhhhhhh

i been a cheating day .....

chapter 5...a drops of happiness

2007-06-23T21:21:00.000-07:00

busying packing my things...wat to bring le....towel,swimsuits,t shirt....
check 4 this n dat haha....
off to sch ...i m in ec lol for only 4 weeks ....
sch:busy wif notes n gossip...
after sch:jusco ....200 pounds beauty..wif renxi n yean ruey
i feel tat movie familiar wif my life stories haha
anyway...quite nice after tat renxi fetch me to mrs.lee house...molek pine....
cool apartment...hey a mei n kakak pick me up at downstairs...
leefujun sleeping......
later me n a mei play uno again....nxt bingo...i m still bingo king afterall haha
afetr all tat ....i m really tired so i slept too.....
the nxt morning we prepare the bbq thing waiting for everone to come...
guest list:
1.)mrs.lee n mr.lee
2.)me, a mei
3.)leefujun n samuel his friends
4.)kok jun(their cousin)
5.)ying ying , tinghui,guoliang
6.)mrs.tay n wei jie n wei ting
7.)kakak
ok...mrstay bring yummy cupcake n sushi
me+cook meehoon n konyaku jelly haha
wait till bbq start........
amei n weijie cant wait so they went 4 swimming i didnt go wif them cz i m very cold...
duno wat time they finally arrived....at last gt some atmosphere for the bbq haha
boys went to play badminton me eating n taking pic wif tinghui....
everybody keep eating eating n eating n i taking pic 3x
hahasomething happen guoliang ask me for a basketball game wif duno who...we play n we won each game...walao i m so gud at it haha juz jokin..
out of sudden tinghui came out n i oso duno huw playing wif 2 little gals .....(we play n take pic)a small gals like tinghui n a jun very much ooo...hahah me haiz still s&a gagaga

very happy day la really...thks u guys...very much nv been so happy for years....i wont 4get dy,,,,,

nt to mention a jun sprain his ankle ...poor guy 1st time i feel tat he is so pity haha
nvm lastly we packed our gerai n everybody went bck home........

sumthin special we ccc....a man fancy sitting alone at (in front of the basketball court )dunno wat is it...
mrs.lee say it is not human.....so wat do u think?
shhhhhhhhhh..........it is a secret

chapther 3 : the future war

2007-05-29T22:02:00.000-07:00

i saw her today in the mall...ahe is still fat as usual..i do not address her...i ask her have she make a new set of key for my uncle she replied rudely with a insolent tone...she deliberately didnt make it....i m totally gone mad at that time i released my anger as i smashed the dustbin in the mall .Stranger were staring at us and i yelled at her..i had gone mad at that time...i told her ruthlessly that I DO NOT WANT TO SEE HER ANYMORE n STOP FOLLOWING ME..that tthe last word i told her..of course she is angry..n i do not care.about it..but i would never predict that she would do such tactic...Damn bit*hy...she collude stella moms n uncle n wanted to rage a war at us...i didnt predict that n yet they wanted to teach me a lesson about that .i m really angry now.i do not care anymore do what you guyz want to me...i m just an orphan..i noe that since the day my dad left me...i have to bee 100%++ indepedent in order to survive....plz dont blame me if u really commit suicide ..bcuz the reason are i do not care about u anymore......
the dark reason why i become today's me........
i m trained to be today's me...
i m already numb with the chemical substance that called love
that the reason i always fail my chemistry
i do not know how to cry
yes i m cold blooded animal
i m inhumane....
to mom..........i really dislike you deep bottom from my heart .....
u never care for me since 2 years ago ..wat bother u to care for me now???
ass......u never like it is like i m just a bottle of ketchup for u to used...when i m finishing ...u just easily throw me into a dustbin...poc....pieces of cake....
do u think after my spm u can use me again???dream on.....

p/s:do not be greedy .....you ended with nothing in the end......

chapter2 :A twist of fate...

2007-05-04T02:24:00.000-07:00

ring...ring...ring..
the phone ranngs as usual.....
hello...what the f....?ok i ii understand.i hang u my old samsung hp.Another trouble again ..shit...
and when i rush back from kl..i quickly pack up my belonging and left stella n my cousins....i left them bcuz her mom does not approve me for sy\tudying nursing..wtf...i m studying nt u !!!
but nevermind eveything came bck normal after i didnt ignore them for so long....no matter wat i will studying my nursing!!!dont worry about me my friend ..i m really trully fine and i m great to.now still single haha....no ppl wan mee^^
haha so u noe me i m very strong n wont fall so easily so dont worry about me...keep u guys in touch again haha....anyway my aunt +dogs+isabelle is sick...oh my god sick at the same time...i m goin to show them wat a future nurse are!!!haha

chapter1...Black dark side of who they call families

2007-04-05T12:30:00.000-07:00

"hello debbie ,is me i arrived safetly in kl."
"hey,judy you arrived!Where are you now?"
"I am now outside the Tung Shin Hospital.Guess what they are offering me a sponsorship diploma in nursing ."
"Wow ,that is a good news to know that,well i am at home now,could you come to my house now?"
"That is for sure ,i am coming see you later,ok?"(dialogue =3/4/2007)
hello everybody let me introduce myself.My name is Judy and i m17 this year.As you can read from the dialogue above i m a just graduate from high school student who are trying to get in a nursing school which i been wishing for so long.so i just took a short ride in a tren to debbie house and settling down.haha.....everything goes so well until i receive a call from my guma(1st aunty).She fight with my mom again!*sigh*My mom tress pass her room without her permission.i guess u guyz must be in a big enigma right let me explain the situation here.......
1.)i am not close with my mom nt now or even before the death of my father
2.)my 1st aunt rent a room in my house and she is paying it every single month to me!!!
3.)my mom got enough money to spent even if she is not working(all $$ comes the rent other rooms)
now the problem occur my mom choose to stuck in a sardine tin tiny room in the past..but now she wants that room back(my aunt)..her reason is her current room is leaking....and my 1st aunt r not often staying in that room anymore because she moves out..but she is still paying me...every month! haha the climax is here...my 3rd aunt +my mom=........ tress passing unlock my 1st aunts room without permission!!!the reason they give is my mom need that rooms because of the leaking problem but cant they think my 1st aunt is my client and he still paying me...+quarrel+tress passing=problems...i really cant understand what they are thinking anyway.How could they did this?now i m in debbie house and trouble by these stupid families problem.i am going to have mental break down for sure...now i can imagine what is their expression and situation in jb eventhough i am not there....
1.)my mom happy+scared+proud=of what she been doing
2.)my 3rd aunt scared+anxious+proud+smug+thinks that she roght for sure=happy because she got a supporter(my mom)
3.)my 1st aunt angry+damn angry+hypertension(which could deadly lead to die)=dangerous situation need medication control
4.)judy simply trouble+*sigh*+bored+rational+positive=JUDY(i survive before this come on)
5.)my 3rd aunt+unclesg(shortform 4 singapore)=plotting some evil plan=the Greed Gang
sound so drama....yup that is my life...can t change i been through this for years...and i already expected what they will do next...*haizz*
Next u know what the greed gang always giving me cold water when i told them i wanted to be a nurse.I really have to admit first i am not so interest in nursing career but later i found out that it is the job that i been wanted...they never encourage me to pursue my dream but keep asking me to study form 6 and get into U.get an office job and etc....BLABLA stupid i hate it...how many times do you guyz want me to tell u..i hate office job!!!they never respect nurse...stupiad....

and now they are plotting to stop me from going to study nursing ...
stupid +stupid +stupid=i had enough of you guyz
Shut up i dont care who you are and stop being hypocriters in front of me...i had enough..i seen your true colour greed gang....all what you did when the funeral and what you said i'll remember all...Fancy controlling my life???
shut up i live by own life....i will never let you guyz catch me or lock me up..i have my choice...stop acting clever while your brain holds nothing...eat more wheat it might helps u...i guess not....u guyz will waste the wheat!!!