today i have a story...
can i tell to my children ,
tommorow i created memories ,
could i stay alive and shared it....
today i wen to college as usual...nothing much happen again....i pretended nothing happen..i m running away from the reality every single day here...no matter how much i ran away is still noe that i m in the realliti..i live in it..i hope for a change but that is not action ..people said i have changed...here my replied i have changed,,because i grew up ...
.........i hope that i never ever grew up...............
despite my physical inner me i really hope i never grew up.children are so innocent they never think bad ,evil,,,,they are always filled with hope and love...Adultry brings harm to other.the more knowledge we get they less we adapt or intepret it into our lives..we never makes use of the knowledge wisely..i have sin...i will never not sin in a day,....
.............human sin.............
knowledge is sin...god have told adam n eve not to eat that apple ..at the knowledge tree....yeah after our dearest ancestor ate it . we gain knowledge but at the same time it is suck . we sin .KNOWLEDGE =SIN...as one day we gain knowledge we sin...god forgave us??yes he did...so his benevolent heart are so huge that can make him so knd to forgave us human...we named ourself human but are we humane enough???WE gain knowledge but we took it granted......
................we learnt how to die..the only way to learn how to live................
we all know that we might die someday...but we dont believe in it..this is what i read through a very interesting books entittled tuesdays with morries.....yea it is true we never learnt to be good.After we die..we should die once.so everybody get theirs lesson n be good..but is it possible...no one human theirs is only one chance to live in this world ...so why dont you try to a good person today?
..................family..............
i am not a very family person...and i had a very complicated lifestyle....i never get to enjoy what so called family love..so since a small child i have always live in doubt...why my moms treat me like that??why my dad like that.....i can say that after my dad left me...my life turn worst....nothing is good for me everything seems so hard to handle ...i always burst up in tears alone...never let others to see.because i hate it...i hate to show my weakneses to others ..this is just because i dont trust anyone but myself...selfish huh???yes i am selfish....until now i never had a wonderful family....but i had some benefactor in my life...and i cherish them...why dont you get a flower for your mom today...hug her and tells her that you loved her for me??i never get to because i cant forgive her.......why dont you make a breakfast for your little brother or sister today and tell them u are very happy to have them in your live..they coloured your lives??i never get to do that because i never had a sister not yet even brothers.....please do it for me....why dont you read out the newspaper for your daddy today ...tell him the news happen in the world..do it for me because i lost my dad forever....physically....not mentally.....
...........friends...........
the most precious things in my life.....some walk away from me.....some were discarded by me....some stayed by my side until now.....some just knew me......some thinks that i am weird.....some hate me but loved me once.....some helped me...some teached me the rational of lives.....some are very patient......one word for you guyz thank you....i really loved you guyz...i dont wish to lose you guyz really ...there are tears for the who walk away from me.....there are laughter spent during the times....memories shall always stayed with me......eternally....
..........my love........
i never had chance to be in love...but i fall in love many times....and crushed my hearts every single times...i told or maybe confessed to some of them and get rejected by them....some were hidden in my hearts and never been told out....but no matter what i wish to say thank you that you taught me to be a women....in my live.....u guyz let me experience rapid heartbeat....shyness...and everything...
thank you......
...........god............
i love you god!but i hate you at the same time....you always test me...and let me test the taste of every single hard situation but u never leave me alone..u always by my side ...since a child...i know you wanted to train me to be stronger each time and each test are harder and harder each time...i can guarentee i could pass all of them but i can promise i would stayed alive to cface all the fears in my life
..............to judy............
i love you because i knew what u r thinking right now!!!!
think back and try to say good morning to each and every one you met tommorow???
8:18 AM
