well it been years since i wanna update my blog again....
now is the years of 2009 10 november.....chaos happen in my life again....well my bestfriend..... i cant reveal her real name but i put initial for her...(donut)....
this is what i really wanna tell donut.....
the first time i arrived in this college i had no one to trust to....i still remember u r the first person to gave me a helping hand ...from that day onwards ,secretly i told myself i want to know you more and be your best friend....
later everybody start to mix around....i never got the chance to knew you more than the superficial facts of you.....
until a lot of things start to happen....a lot of drama which you and me are really tired off once.....
i get the chance to know you more...i m so happy about or i should say excited all about it....
the feeling was like Finally i found somebody i can put my trust on too....finally i had a friend!!!yeah a men halleluyah~the period we spent together really precious to me....and i promise i ll never forget it.....
a poem for you~
i was lost in a chaos full of hatred lonely world,
you appear to me like a little glowing girl,
with you hand ,with your smile
which brighten up my world......
we been together like there is no forever,
i miss your stories, i miss the real you.....
you are just like my sister that i ever have,
that is why i care about you...
it is not a matter for you to change,
too much of noise polluting you...
too much thoughts disturbing you,
i hope i can be the vaccum to suck out all the noise,
to give you peace,
i hope i can be the transmitter to inhibits those black thoughts in you...
i try to cry...
in an attitude style...
i shown you my heart ,
but you never care,
my heart was shattered to pieces....
but i never wanna give up...i wont give up!!!
because you are my sister....
i never tell you in the front because i m scared that
u will be more afraid of me.....
now......
what i really pin up my hope is...
i hope that you will return to me again...
as my sister...
dear m.s......
when you are ready to come back to me as a sister...
i will shouted....OKAERI....one-chan
but currently i will say kiotsukete ...simpai janaiyo~
p.s: if one faithful day god hve let you see this message and you really wanna come back....
okaerinasai...one-chan
5:55 AM
the world greatest loneness does not belongto darkness but it's lonely himself who are the loneliest...
4:45 AM
there is no sometimes but the only time lies ahead ,
there is no why it happen only when it happen ,
there is no good luck or bad luck only chances which not be taken ,
if you want it so much ????
Why, let it go away???
life is the stage ,
living are the presenter ,
feelings is the atmosphere ,
and desire are the ending...
if you want to been take notice,
then ,
post up your smile ,
label your expression ,
highlight your tears ,
jote down your words ..
just be yourself then you will be notice..
8:09 AM
8:09 AM
i m so stress,,,really stress....i didnt know why but i m just so damn stress...i couldnt concentrate...i just want to cry ...cry so much....cry until i die.....i feel so empty n i live in a prison...no one to trust and i m really really lonely....i miss my past live ...i really do...i m so frustrated in everything....i am so babarianic...i dun wish to talk......sickening live...it is so meaningless...sickening sickening...really sickening...........
8:55 AM
so long...until now its been a wonderful and hard experience for me...woooh goodbye 2007...and welcome 2008...i get my pip..i been a senior to no one.....now they acknowledge us as green badge..hahaz...life at hostel still the same...becomin more like a prison...and recently i trim my hair n it sucked by the way....love live...someone stole my cupid away lol....i still homesick after 7 months....if the lifes at hospital are way too far great....i love my patient and doc...really..hahaz....dunno wat to jote ..so gud luck to me and till then...
5:42 PM
i have been posted to the hospital..today are the fourth days i was so stress... the feeling are so sad...i could not concentrate i am very sad...but i will not give up...i will keep on because this is a very hard even myself are not sure whether i can cope this....i turn not to be myself anymore...i could not even can control my mind and feelings....there are so many choices that i can made...some can makes me turn away from the bright side some even could make better myself...i really do not know..the only feeling i wish to jote down is the people here are very weird..some are good,selfish,stubborn ,and ego....very ego even teacher are like that,,i could not imagine that my teacher are so selfish..for their own self they could malign us like that...i really scared.......this is what had happen.......dat very unfortunate day happen...after our hard long work =presentation ...which had brought us together.....my friends...our hardwork had been destroy by one of my tutor...she scold us for making her skill lab dirty(that is where we put up our presentation)she describe it like a pigsty...i am very sad when i get the news =confused.. i remember that she told us we can put there for a week oatut now what happen our work had been destroy but she turn against us by saying she did not said that and to protect her self from the punishment,,,,we are there to be her spageg spatega ahahahhhahrrghhhhhhh i am just very angry....but this is just what i have to say.....tommorow will be a better day
5:40 AM
a poem for you~
now......
dear m.s......